Have lots of other things to write about that I haven't had the time to post, but this, this can't wait because I feel my head is going to explode.
You know when you know that you've got your life together, that you couldn't ask for anything more, and that everything around you is positive and bright? You feel like you've got your pulse on the secret of the universe, and you float by knowing that things are going to be alright. And really, really it is some form of communion. One that indeed should be treated delicately because it is a relationship so precious and fragile.
And yet...it feels empty somehow.
The Unbearable Lightness of Being.
Lightness can be exhilirating, yes. But it can be excruciating, too. You have to experience it before you can admit it. Being weightless and formless sometimes makes us lose the touchstones and footholds in our lives, forming an existence that is far-removed and distant from the rest of the heavy world, which, in our highest of highs we can so wrongfully scorn. A life that is without consequence can become dangerously a life without responsibility, a guiltless existence centered on the "I".
I can't remember who said it, about choosing between a happy life and a meaningful life. To be happy means to live in the present. It is an extremely beautiful and enjoyable experience; it makes you feel that you can do everything you could ever dream of, and nothing, NOTHING can stand in your way. You just are. And you're happy.
A life that is meaningful, on the other hand, is when you worry about the past and the future, about impacts and consequences, about other people. There's a certain heaviness about it that can't be shaken off.
So which life would you choose?
I value lightness, that feeling of being present, of being one with every particle of the universe. I have shared and preached about how wonderful and liberating it can be.
But I have also come to value the chains that bind me to this wretched world. Strangely, those chains also give me a distinct, sometimes even sharper sense of freedom.
2 comments:
Hmmm... Can't life be happy and meaningful at the same time? Just asking.
i'm in a very similar state right now but i think the lightness is misconstrued as getting used to the "communion."
human emotions can be misleading sometimes. whenever i find myself wondering at how i've found myself here in the place i'm in and how far i think i've gone, it's not lightness that i feel but doubt or even being undeserving. yet again, i reconcile this with the fact that this is the right (if not the best) time to experience this and i should be at ease with that fact. coz if other people believe in it, it'd be unfair to myself if i think i don't deserve this at all.
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